I'm not disable, but I know those who are. I've always wondered something and feel here is a great place to ask. With whatever event that caused you to be disabled or impaired, do you personally resent it?

I don't mean to bring up hardship, But it seems to me that it would be difficult to forget what caused it, worse yet if you yourself or another were directly related to it.

Or if you were born with it are you angry about it in some manner?

To me it seems my avatar says it all, If I had an event that changed me so dramatically I feel I would not take it so well. B.T.W. If you've played any version of dungeons and dragons you would know how terrible a 1 is. It would be hard for me not to feel like with every throw of the die I got a 1, failure.

If it isn't so for you. what gives you the heart and the strength to cope.

If it is sorta like that for you, hard and crushing. What about it makes you feel that way? Would getting it out or being automatically treated equal (which should happen anyway) in this case, a game, make you feel better about that?

I know it's a lot and I really don't mean harm, It's just ignorance helps me not and if I don't ask then how will I learn?

I'm gonna tell you my story...
Hello Slayer91,

To answer your question bluntly, mo I do not resent the die cast in my life.

I always was a clumsy kid, and I never knew why. I thought 'maybe just be real careful and I'll do just fine.' That worked until I joined the Army, when the physical demands were just too much for my body, but I was stubborn and one day (after I got out) I passed out behind the wheel of a 65,000 lb tractor-trailer, on the I5 interstate below Modesto CA. Luckily I awoke to find myself parked kinda crookedly of the road. Two days had passed and I got out shook the cobwebs out and just screamed. About 2 hours later I pulled into the terminal at Modesto and said to the terminal boss, "I need to go to the Hospital right away" So he let me go and they ran all kinds of tests on me and ended up scratching their heads. So finally they said I should go to a specialist, a neurologist
and he ran all kinds of tests and when I was through all I had was a ten thousand dollar bill and a note saying I cannot go back to work for some unknown reason.
Two full years went by and I was getting steadily worse, so I decided to try the new neurologist that had just come into town and he ran me through even more tests. He then got an idea to do some exploratory surgery on my head and he found out my Cerebellum had atrophied (collapsed) So that was my problem in a nutshell,
A piece of my brain that was supposed to be the size of an apple was atropied to the size of a walnut. (size of a large grape now)
No there is no cure and no treatment for me.

So how do I go on, why does life not drag me down.
Sometimes it does!! Sometime I have to look up to see the bottom. But I always look up.
Why?
Because I have Him. The Lord. He was whipped until He had no skin left, He knows the road, and He walks beside me and He burdens all the weight without a single whimper or grunt.
No I have not played D&D before nor will I. But I do know your analogy. And every time my die comes up a One, I just roll it again and again.
This post was a bit long, OK it was wayyyyyy long but now you know.
Life is a gift, whether it's wrapped in a shiny package with no tears or blemishes, or a soggy newspaper. Nothing that ever happens or can happen can change that.


Ok sappy story over let's get to playing!

I would agree with Waxman, No, I do not resent it. I get a great parking space all the time!

For real, I like where I am in life right now, and I would not want to recast for fear that I would not be where I am. I know that I could be in a better place, but I could also be in a not better place, so if given the chance... I would pass and stay the same.

Thank you, you really put it into perspective for me. I suppose myself, I would turn towards technology for the hope, because that's where I see it. Thank you for sharing your story. May strength be with you.

I do not resent whats happened in my life. I dont particularly enjoy it either. What happened has happened and I cannot change that. But I dont dwell on it either. I choose to be happy and I am most definitely happy.

I was very angry in the begining - 9 years ago. I was only 23 when I basically lost the life I used to know. I lost all the plans I had made and my future was so uncertain. It took me a couple of years to work through that. Part of helping me get through that time was my embrace of an online community in a MMORPG. It was a place where I wasnt immediately judged and I did have some control. I found many good friends there. In a way it eased me back into society slowly. That is why I want to see games accesible for everyone. They can be more important than people realize.

Now days, I dont care who knows about my disability or what they think in general. lol But I didnt get to that point overnight. I will never be a person who says they are glad they have MS because it changed them into a better person. There were certainly a lot better ways to have made me a better person that dont involve a cannibalistic brain disease.

So I am not thankful for MS. If anything, I am thankful for my parents, faith, and friends (in game and out) who have given me the skills and encouragement I needed to come out of this trial as a stronger person with a clearer vision of what really matters in this life.

And welcome to the site both slayer91 and Waxman

Beautifully stated Camilya. I feel games can totally break unspoken boundaries. The first time I've ever gamed with anyone disabled, was through D&D. After playing with the man, I found that many preconceived notions about the impaired were gone. He was brilliant. What he lacked in the body he more than made up for it in the mind. It also made me think about myself in a similar situation. I was able to sympathetically changed my perspective to greater understand his strife. After that moment, there was no difference between he and I. And without the game, I don't think through other means that we would have even encountered each other. MMORPG's are even better that games in person, because there are no preconceived notions, you are just another person unless you choose to let them know. This post is becoming quite enlightening for me. Thank you all. B.T.W. I thank Stargate Worlds for getting me to click here for the chance at a beta slot. I would have never know of this site if I hadn't come here for personal, (selfish) reasons.

Do I resent the Fact that I had a 20 year career on the move up as a Telecomunications Engineer. I usally describe what I did by saying,"I helped paint the lines on the Information Super-Highway that we all Surf on daily", but I was DXD in 2000 with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS) and soon after I could no longer work with my brain as good as I used to. Most of what I have learned and even taught to others at times is now forgotten and/or no longer used. I have become somewhat of a "Homebody".

Do I resent it? Hell Yes.
Do I sit around all day on my "pity pot"? Hell No

Can I change my circumstance? Not a chance
Have I found ways to deal with it and move on? You betcha

I just refuse to be stuck on a shelf or be treated like a bookmark. I stay involved.

actually I could have gotten a worse deal. See other message

I think the word resent is a tad bit harsh. I don't think anyone resents being disabled. At least not after a while. I think when anybody comes to an age where they should be doing more than they are or they want to be doing more than they are there is a certain resentment but I think with age it passes just like any other stage.

personally, I know that I was never one to care about what I could not do. My mom always told me that there is a way to do anything I wanted to. The truth of the matter is there is not always a way to do anything but there is a different way to do most everything.

when I was in high school I was told to going to college would be trouble and that attending a college would be difficult for me to do. However, 10 years later that is exactly what I'm doing now and in a few years I'll have my degree. As it turns out I'm not sure that it is even what I want to do but a college degree is something nobody can take away from you.

So no, I can honestly tell you I do not resent the position I am in. Sometimes I wish I could do things differently or that I could do more. The nice thing about growing older is you realize while you are sitting around wishing that you can live life better life is still going on around you. If you wait too long with wishing you had more you're going to lose what you already have.

When I was young the only thing I was shooting for was to get through life without any regrets. Now I just want to end my life and not regret not having done some things I could've done. Recently, I think I have found one of the things I was meant to do, only time will tell. No matter who you are or what your situation is you have to find what it is that makes your life complete.

I have in the past.

I resesnted it when I realised I'd never drive and my parants knew it. I resented it when most kids are lerning to drive a car and have freedom to go anywhere I lerned to use a long cane and had freedom to walk to the end of the street. I resented it when I found out it was the fult of someone else that I am the way I am. I resented it when I found out I'd struggle with universaty and getting a job and that my combination of dissabilatys will make it impossable.

I do resent it when it makes it impossable for me to do the things I need to do to game and get a bit of company. I game for the soahal factor mainly.